Armies need to train. Fighters need to spar. Commanders need to run training exercises and field problems. It's the only way to become proficient and confident in the art of war. So what do you do when your troops need practice? You turn to the dark arts of necromancy, and raise a legion of undead sparring partners, of course.
Back in the early 2000's, I built and painted an Undead army for Warhammer 6th edition. It was a major departure from my Bretonnian army. Instead of a fast, elite, hard hitting force of heavy cavalry, I instead found myself commanding a slow, clumsy, but very durable force of infantry blocks that couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag, but made up for it by the fact that they were really hard to get rid of. Unfortunately, I literally only ever got to play two games with this army, because I got deployed to Iraq shortly after completing it. When I came home from the war, both of the local game shops in Clarksville had gone out of business, and there was nobody to play Warhammer with.
And so, the skeleton legions remained sealed away in torporous slumber beneath my house for almost 20 years. Until last weekend, that is, when the lid to an ancient, dusty Games Workshop plastic case was cracked in my basement, by two rats with a flathead screwdriver. There was a rush of stale air, like the lost hope of a final agonal gasp. The hissing stench caused the little grey and white rat named Soup to cough and cover his face with his tiny hands. His adventuring companion, the hairless rat named Critter, cleared her nose and blinked against the musty cloud. Once the air had cleared, the two little rodents nodded to each other, and in unison, they each lifted one corner of the lid. More dust roiled out of the black sarcophagus, accompanied by echoing silence.
Critter unrolled a scroll, crudely hand-written from a CVS reciept. Holding it in front of her, she read aloud the magic words scrawled by the shaky paw of wise old Specules upon his death bed.
Klatuu, Veratta... Um... Nicotine?
At first, nothing happened, but then blinding light bathed the room, causing them to stumble back. My new LED light bar is very bright.
"Hey!" I said, hand still on the light switch, and laundry basket on my knee, "What are you rats doing down here?"
"Palamides!" squeaked Critter to their third companion, "You were supposed to be watching the stairs!"
"Girl, I'm blind. You know that!"
The rats scrambled and scampered away, leaving me in the eerie silence of the basement. From the padded cells of the open plastic case, one hundred tiny skeletons grinned up at me. There was a CVS reciept on the table, with some nonsense written on the back. I crumpled it up and tossed it into the trash can with the dryer lint as I walked away to turn over the laundry.
By the time I finished turning the laundry, an army of the dead had assembled on my gaming table. I knew I should have latched that case. There was only one thing to do. I put down the laundry basket, and started lining up regiments of Ratkin opposite the Undead.
Reading the rules and watching videos about Kings of War on youtube is no subsitute for actually playing it. Practicing movements, measurements, and running through combat phases and resolutions is a great way to get comfortable with this type of game. By closely following the rulebook step by step, and actually physically performing the steps and doing the math, I can learn how it plays before I get to actually play for real against another person. This is important to me, because I don't want to be a total noob once I get out there.
In addition to the benefits to me as a player, having two complete armies means that I can better demo the game, and teach other people to play, once I have the hang of it.
I took a break from painting rats, and spent three weekday evenings cleaning up, repairing, touching up, and re-basing my old Undead army to make it useable for Kings of War. I hopped on the Mantic App, and built a quick Army list based around what I already had for miniatures. I decided to paint up a unit of six werewolves, too, because, of course, I happened to have several werewolf miniatures lying around.
A few things that I learned from my initial practice games:
My American Bulldog, Jack, is not a very aggressive General. He just gives "Halt" orders every turn, and doesn't ever advance any troops.
My rat, Noodle, cannot hold still long enough to proxy as a Mutant Rat Fiend miniature.
My Ratkin army is... big. Almost too big. It is very hard to manuever, or advance with terrain on the table. My three big hordes of infantry get in each other's way. This will take some getting used to.
My beloved Hackpaws are tricky to use. In a straight head-on fight, they lost against a regiment of zombies, which are literally the worst troops in the undead army. If the Hackpaws can get on the flanks, or behind the enemy, though, they cause absolute havoc. The "nimble" rule allows them one extra pivot per movement. On paper that might not sound like much, but it is incredible on the table.
My clawshot rat snipers are better than I expected them to be. I only put them in the army because I liked the minis, but I was pleasantly surprised with how good they are.
It has been 20 years and two game systems, and my skeleton crossbow regiment still hasn't killed anything. Not even a rat. I'm beginning to think that they are secretly pacifists...
Tabletop wargames typically have two types of units. Units that can "Thump" and units that can "Grind". It's rare to find a unit that is good at both. These two army lists are both good at the grind. They can dig in and defend. They have lots of durable infantry units. They both, however, lack units that can thump. Hopefully the addition of Tunnel Buddies to the rats, and Werewolves to the Undead will help, some.
Add comment
Comments