2) A Ratkin Blog: The Best Laid Plans of Rats and Men

As previously established, I decided this year that I wanted to get back into miniature wargaming after a long hiatus. Here's just a little bit more backstory on that.

 

My basement has been, for years, a disaster. I never had time to take on the massive project of cleaning it out. I'm not making excuses, either. I literally just had too much else going on to be able to tackle such a project. Three things changed in my life that fixed that. I quit my job as a paramedic and got a normal job with a regular weekday schedule. I retired from the Army Reserves. My kid got their driver's license, and no longer needed me to cart them around everywhere. So suddenly, in the year 2022, I had something I had never before in my adult life had. Weekends.

 

I priced out renting a dumpster, but it was $750.00 per week, so I instead decided to just take one pickup truck full of trash to the dump per week. That's the limit in my municipality, and the dump is only open to the public on Saturday morning for a four hour window. It took me 5 full weekends, but my entire basement was sorted, organized, and gutted of all the junk that we didn't want or need anymore. In the process of going through boxes that were sealed up back in 2007 and had not been opened since we moved back to Wisconsin, I found my old Warhammer stuff. There was so much of it. I actually didn't remember owning some of it. Going through that stuff gave me... feelings. I hadn't thought about wargaming or miniatures for many years. Looking at all these models and books and terrain made me nostalgic. I realized that I missed the hobby. Glancing about the workshop that I had just finished cleaning out, I thought,

 

"What a nice painting station that workbench would make. It has shelves and nice lighting. Too bad Warhammer is dead. Oh well."

 

I was taking some laundry upstairs when I spied the old warped pool table that came with the house. The green felted pool table. In a newly cleaned, accessible well lit area. Green like the rolling plains of Pelannor. I suddenly experienced a flashback of my brave little Bretonnian knights suffering a humiliating defeat in the basement of Mike Marko, circa 1999 or 2000 AD. The soundtrack from "Gladiator" was playing in the background on a CD boombox. My knights were getting slaughtered by Orcs. Lances shattered, horses screamed, dice clattered, and Mike's toddler was laughing and playing in a laundry basket, cackling like a little goblin shaman as he rocked back and forth.

 

"Oh my God." I realized, "I'm a fucking adult. I have a basement. I have space. I have a table. I have weekends off."

 

Shortly thereafter, I was sitting on the internet with a couple of my pet rats, looking at Skaven miniatures.

 

"Yes, yes..." they squeaked, wringing their tiny hands, and giggling, "Now hwee just need to think make a plan plan..."

 

So first off, I wanted to play an old school, large scale, square based, rank and flank style wargame. Age of Sigmar does not check any of those boxes. It was quickly apparent in my internet research, that most of the old Warhammer Fantasy players had migrated to play Kings of War instead. I started researching KoW, and watching youtube videos on it. I liked the system, I liked the freedom to use any miniatures from any manufacturer, and I liked that they encouraged multibasing units onto trays, because that makes for such smooth gameplay, compared to clumsily moving around dozens of individual dudes on roundbases every turn, and having to make 40 measurements per phase. Best of all, KoW minis by Mantic Games are of wonderful quality, yet cost only a third of what GW minis go for these days. I was sold on KoW. It was time to scheme plan with my council of rodents.

 

 

Budget: When I was younger, I had a habit of being rather reckless with my hobby spending. Collectible card games, role playing books, miniature games, airsoft guns, and LARP gear are all expensive. It is easy to get carried away, and let your spending spiral out of control. That wasn't going to happen this time. I was going to set a budget, and very strictly adhere to it. I decided to make a challenge out of it, for fun. Sticking to the very modest budget would be part of the game.

 

Phase One: Establish Supply Lines

I was going to need paints and brushes, to say the least, plus all the other little things used in assembling, priming, painting, and sealing minis. That stuff can get expensive, but me and the rats came up with a clever solution.

 

While cleaning out the basement, I had found a lot of old toys that were mine when I was a child. In particular, I had a lot of the little 3.75" GI Joe figures and vehicles. Boxes of them, in fact. Complete with helmets, backpacks, rifles, and accessories. I gathered up these toys, as well as a few other old toys that I was willing to part with, tossed them in the truck, and drove out to see my friend, Rick. He's a toy collector, and he owns a hobby shop. Rick was happy to swap the old toys for a complete set of 30 Ral-Partha paints, half a dozen good quality brushes, some superglue, and various other model building materials.

 

Phase Two: Recruit an Army

 

The great thing about KoW is that you can use any miniatures from any manufacturer. They have over 20 army lists to choose from, so if you have fantasy or historical miniatures of any type, there is probably some way to make a playable KoW army out of them. My old Bretonnians, for example, could be played as either Kingdoms of Men list or the Basilean list, and would fit in just fine as both armies have a lot of mounted medieval knights. My old Vampire Count Von Carstein levy militia minis could easily play as one of the three different undead lists in KoW.

 

While it was going to be a lot of fun to get my old minis back on a gaming table, what I was really excited for was collecting and painting a new Ratkin army. But to do that, I would need money. Hobby money. The Ratkin mega army deal was $119.00 with free shipping. Looking at the stack of boxes that made up my Warhammer collection, I knew what I had to do.

 

Hello ebay, my old friend...

 

As it turned out, 6th edition Bretonnian knights still on the original plastic sprues are quite desireable, and I had a ton of them. I'd never been a fan of the 6th edition miniatures myself, so after that edition had dropped in the early 2000s, I stuck to my 5th edition figures, for the most part. Somehow I had wound up with a ton of those 6th edition figures, though, plus, an all metal trebuchet, still in the original box. I took some photos, posted the kits on ebay, and priced them to move. In less than 24 hours, both auctions had sold. After shipping them, my profit was $124.00 total. Perfect. It was time to order those rats.

 

The mega army deal had everything I wanted except for one unit: Hackpaws. Fortunately, my pile of surplus miniatures was not fully depleted. I had some high elf spearmen and archers that someone had given me many years ago. He was moving to Korea, and didn't think he was ever going to play Warhammer, again, so he just passed them off on me. They'd been sitting in a box collecting dust since probably 2004. It took three listings on ebay, but finally, someone bid on them and won the auction. They went for $41.00, which was perfect, because my Hackpaws cost $30.00, and I figured that I would probably have to pay 11 or 12 to ship.

 

"Yes, yes..." chittered my pet rats, "It's all going to plan plan..."

 

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Comments

Mom
2 months ago

Good thing your mother saved your toys, and didn't get rid of them. 😉 😊